Monday, Feb. 28, 2005

you know what, my classes for the day did NOT meet bec. my professors were out... i dont know if i should be happy about it or not? I guess i am.. i was saved from my report in Eng 11..hehehe. next thursday pa tuloy. But its ok since i have to figure out the connection of the poem "out, out-"by Robert Frost to Macbeth.
i think i am beginning to like someone from one of my classes today... i am not yet sure, ok? so ill rather keep it a secret first..
later, i think i would be cooking an indian food, probably a dessert for my Kas 2 class tomorrow. Goodluck na lang sa kin kc mukhang kakaiba ang mga pagkain nila.
Bye for now.

Saturday, Feb. 26, 2004

We had our "eating" (thats what they call it) of vegetarian dishes in our Yoga class a while ago.. The dishes are very delicious, if I should say.
I don't know whats up with me today.. parang ang sungit ko...I don't like it at all..maybe its just because of the weather...or the pressures going on around me.. basta, i just cant explain it...Im really sorry dun sa nasungitan ko..sorry talaga...i didn't mean to..

Urghh!!! What a Day!!

As of this very moment, I feel so lost and and its like I am not myself today.. We have just finished our exam in French 11.. And its very difficult unlike our exams before in French 10, which I could almost perfect.
Hay!!that's life..
Classes are suspended today around 1 because of the awarding of US n CS. I'm as CS but i didn't know that the ceremony also includes the awarding for CS, i only knew it a while ago.. and its too late. well, never mind...
I am still in a bad mood.. when I say bad mood, i mean i am not the usual happy and optimistic girl that I am..

Monday, Feb. 21, 2004

Ok..this day is quite a busy day. My problematique in English was somhow approved but still I'm quite lost on how to accomplish a 7-10 pages paper on the novel Chronicle of a Death Foretold. It's pressuring me and I don't like it... But it's ok, I can handle it.
I went home straight from class today, which means I was absent for a day in my work.. God! I did miss going home early!! I did this because I have an exam tomorrow in French 11 and I didn't study last weekends..but I have already reviewed as of this moment. Bonne chance pour moi!!
I also got back to the habit of watching an afternoon Korean drama. I miss that habit so much. This days, I don't have much time to watch tv. I only get to watch at night.. well, I don't bother with this so much.

Feb. 18, 2004, Friday

God! I really like this day!!
First of all, while I was waiting for a fx outside the gate near the UP Gym, 3 guys appeared and when I look at one of them, I recognized him as a Player of Granny goose in the PBL, my favorite team... That's Chico Lanete, who's name I happened to forget when I saw him. There are other 2 players with him, I can't remember the face of one of them, but the other one,I think he's the newest addition in the team, im not sure if his surname is Santos. Then, either one or two of them said hi to me. I was very surprised that they did that. So i shyly said hi too.. Then when they are already taking the path toward the gym, I looked at them again (I have the guts to look at them again because I know that by that time their backs should have been turned and they should be looking towards the direction of the gym, and not that of the highway), and saw the guy whom I think is the newest member of their team, smiling at me. And so, I also smiled. Hehehe...
There are other things to be happy about this day, like not having to attend my boring bio 1 class since the professor is nowhere to be found, chatting with my groupmates in kas 2 instead of dealing with the pressure of actually being called to answer a question which i don't know or couldn't care less about, etc.
I hope everyday would be like this day, full of deligthful surprises..

Feb. 17, 2004, Thursday

Today, in our linguistics class, we joined a language game/ quiz bee held in the AS lobby. Naaddah!!we didn't win, tough luck, I guess. Anyway, the experience is fun and we get a chance to learn something new.
I have a lot of things to do today, there is the problematique in Eng, autobigraphy in Kas 2, Research for our report, dialogue in French, etc... HA!! I feel so stressed just thinking of those things...what, I'll do now, is stop worrying about them instead start doing them now!! Gotta go!!
au Revoir!! Bonne journee!!

All I ask of you

This is a song from the movie Phantom of the Opera.
I really like this song very much and up to now, I continously enjoy listening to the musical piece i got from the internet.

All I ask of You

Raoul (Cliff)
No more talk of darkness,
forget these wide-eyed fears;
I'm here, nothing can harm you,
my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom,
let daylight dry your tears;
I'm here, with you, beside you,
to guard you and to guide you.

Christine (Sarah)
Say you'll love me ev'ry waking moment;
turn my head with talk of summertime.
Say you need me with you now and always;
promise me that all you say is true,
that's all I ask of you.

Raoul
Let me be your shelter,
let me be your light;
you're safe, no one will find you,
your fears are far behind you.

Christine
All I want is freedom,
a world with no more night;
and you, always beside me,
to hold me and to hide me.

Raoul
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime;
let me lead you from your solitude.
Say you want me with you, here beside you,
anywhere you go, let me go too,
that's all I ask of you.

Christine
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime.

Together
Say the word and I will follow you.
Share each day with me, each night, each morning.

Christine
Say you love me ...

Raoul
You know I do.

Together:
Love me, that's all I ask of you ...

Love me, that's all I ask of you.

Valentine's day

I have a weird feeling yesterday morning, I was very happy and excited that its valentine's day. well, i didn't really have a date, im just going to watch a movie with my bestfriend, JOy. Nevertheless, i consider yesterday very important since i had an opportunity to bond with my bestbud again, and its also our way of celebrating singlehood.
we watched the movie PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! I can also say 2 words about it,Ang Ganda!! Its like ur really watching a musical staged infront of you...the setting, soundtrack, storyline is really good. Plus, the fact that its based on Gaston Leroux's novel and Anthony Lloyd Webber's stage musical.
well, i sent valentines greetings to all my friends and to my crush, but what the heck,IL NE REPONDEZ PAS!!!

I believe (korean version)

I believe

I BELIEVE guden gyothe ojiman idero ibyorun anigejyo
I BELIEVE naege onun girun jogum molli doraor punigejyo
modu jinagan gu giogsogeso nega narur aphuge hamyo nunmurur mandurjyo
na mankhum urji anhgirur gudemanun nunmur obshi nar phyonhage bonejugirur
onjenga dashi doraor guderanun gor argie nan midgo igie gidarirkeyo
nan gudeyo yaman hajyo

I BELIEVE nega aphaharkabwa gudenun urjido mothegejyo
I BELIEVE hurunun ne nunmuri gudr dashi nege dollyojugejyo
jaku momchunun ne nungir sogeso gude mosubduri tolla nunmurur mandurjyo
na mankhum urji anhgirur gudemanun nunmur obshi nar phyonhage bonejugirur
onjenga dashi doraor guderanun gor argie nan midgo igie gidarirkeyo
nan gudeyo yaman hajyo

Na gude argi jon isesangdo irohge nunbushyonunji
gu hanur areso ijen nunmullo namgyojyojiman ijarir nan jikhirgeyo

Guderan iyumanuro naegenun gidarimjocha chungbunhi hengboghagejyo
saranghan iyumanuro to haruga jinaga go onun gir ijodo gidarirkeyo
nan gudeyo yaman hajyo
nan gudeyo yaman hajyo

I believe...

This is the English Version of the Song "I Believe", originally in korean. Its the themesong of one of my favorite movies, My Sassy Girl.English Version)

I Believe

I believe... When you are not with me there are no stars in the sky.
I believe... The way back to you will feel a little far.
I'll carry all those memories deep inside me.
I'll feel pain, it'll make tears fall.

When I won't cry you will leave me
With no change and no tears.
Someday again the tears will come around
You know it
I'll believe that you are waiting.
I do it for you.

I believe... It'll hurt me to see, you can't cry.
I believe... My tears will fall, you should turn back to me again.
Again I'll glimpse you come into my sight
And it'll make my tears fall.

When I won't cry you will leave me
With no change and no tears.
Someday again the tears will come around
You know it
I'll believe that you are waiting.
I do it for you.

Before I knew you, the world was dazzling.
From that sky I got left with tears.
I will care for that person.

You are the only reason...
To me the wait gives me enough happiness.
Love is the only reason...
As days pass by,
If you forget the way, I'll be waiting
I do it for you.
I do it for you

Friday, Feb. 11, 2005

I can say that I like this day. I don't know why but I find the time spent in my classes fast enough, that I wasn't bored at all. What's with me to day???
Anyway, I just ate lunch with Betsy, a friend of mine.. she's okay to be with, at first I thought we wouldn't jive with each other.
Valentine's day is coming very soon. I plan to celebrate it with my bestfriend, Joy, who is almost like a sister to me. I love her so much!!
Ok that's all for now... bye.

My 3rd year highschool days...

Let me continue telling you about my past experiences..
When I was in 3rd year highschool, I guess I was very happy because i have found a good set of friends in the presence of Criselda, Karen, Kathleen, Cza, Sam, Tim, Katrina, Marlon, Gretel, Jessica, cielo..etc. I really love the section I belonged to, III- Zamora. During this time, I begun to know myself better..I learned the value of friendship.. I discover several traits that have always been a part of me though i didn't admit it in the past. Though it was the year that I got the lowest average in my entire high school life, (88.something), I felt that I am gaining knowledge from the pocketbooks and novels that I am reading.. I got so fond reading paperback romance that I almost became frustrated at not finding anything I haven't read in our library. I also got the chance to befriend several exchanged students from Korea. They are really so cute, funny and nice. The closes to me and to Criselda is Hans Chong Won. Criselda used to like him.. as for me I find the "Harry Potter-look alike" John really cute. It was such a memorable experience. They stayed in our school for a whole month and when its time to say goodbye, we went to their farewell party..
My 3rd year prom night wasn't much fun at all.. I was late and have to share seats with Gretel(thanks, Grets!) and it was Very Boring!! Good thing my classmates are really nice that I somehow I couldn't afford to hate that prom!
But in general, I had a blast in my 3rd year in highchool..
We even cried during the last day of classes..and couldn't even end our farewell gimiks...parang there is always a gimik right after the present one...

Waiting in vain...

Its hard.. to wait for someone to remember...
The more time that passes by the more impatient you grew.. but sometimes you also get used to it..and your feelings passed you by..
I never really wanted for my love for someone to passed by just like that... but i am to afraid to take a chance..

Looking at the same moon & stars

When I was in 4th year highschool, in my way home from school after CAT trainings, I usually have no choice but to ride at the back of a tricycle...Well, I don't normally do that because I feel so stressed having to grip in a metal bar just not to fall, plus the pollution is really bad.. But since I have no choice, I might as well get the most out of the situation.. I take it as an oppurtunity to look at the sky..reflecting at the beauty of the stars and the moon. And i have this kind of "corny" thing I say to myself.. I often tell myself that as long as we(referring to me and the one I like, as of that moment) are looking at the same moon and stars, I still have hope...I find it so nice to think that maybe during those nights that I would look at the stars while having that in mind, the one I love is also doing the same(minus the thinking, of course)
Now, that I have convinced myself that I amy way over him, I still would find amazement as I look at beauty of the night.. there is always the hope that one day I would feel the same as I felt during those uncomfortable ( yet memorable) tricycle rides...

Thursday, Feb. 10, 2005

This is quite a regular day for me..even though I am not feeling that well.
Just a while ago, I had to eat lunch alone at the canteen because I can't find any of my friends, probably they all have their classes or eating at other canteens. Anyway, its ok.. we are supposed to be used to it..they always insist in self reliance here in UP..
And right this very moment, I wanted to buy a pair of dangling earings from the stalls in AS WALK... Urrggh!!I have to wait for tomorrow just to but that!!
Ok.. till next time..

Nice Song...

I got this from another girl's blog...i relly liked iot. I feel like i can dedicate this to HIM!!
First love
sung by Utada Hikaru
English Version
Your last kiss had the flavor of tabacco
A bitter and sad scent
Where will you be tomorrow at this time?
Who are you thinking of?
You are always gonna be my love
Even if I fall in love with someone else once again
I'll remember to love, you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Now it's still a sad love song
Until I'm able to sing a new song
Time stood still, but it's trying to move once more
Full of things I don't want to forget
I'll surely be crying tomorrow at this time
I'll be thinking of you
You will always be inside my heart
There's always a place just for you
I hope that I have a place in your heart, too
Now and forever you are still the one
Now it's still a sad love song
Until I'm able to sing a new song
You are always gonna be my love
Even if I fall in love with someone else once again
I'll remember to love, you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Now it's still a sad love song
Now and forever

Wednesday Feb 9, 2005

I'm not feeling well today!! I have flu.. that's why I didn't go to work... oh yes, haven't I mentioned? I work as a student assistant at UP ISSI. I started last week. The job is quite ok, i only have to finish a directory for this week probably..
Anyway, this day had been well-spent since I got to finish READING CHRONICLE OF A DEATH FORETOLD by Gabriel Garcia Marquez..Yes!! nabawasan din ang alalahanin ko!!(my worries are lessened)

Monday, Feb. 7, 2004

This is quite a different day...
Well, it all started like the usual monday for me.. I got into my Eng 11 class late again...
Then i took my exam in linguistics.. turns out quite well. My Lingg 1 professor announced in class about this South East asian 30 class that would be held in the summer.. they would be giving grants to some students for them to take up the course in Thailand.. We all got excited.. After my exam, me and some of my friends decided to give it a try.. nothing to lose, right? So I mede my bio data.. submitted it to my prof.. and she told me to fll up an application form online.. and so I did...only to find out that the grant is only for 2nd year or higher level students..I was so disappointed..Well, I'll still submit an application.. I'm stubborn, right? I'm just gonna try my luck...

Feb. 6, 2005

what a day this is?? I don't mean it in a negative way...
Well, i spent almost half of this day studying for my exam in linguistics tomorrow..and i don't think i am ver much prepared because my eyes got strained and i have to stop reading for a while..and now, its late and i don't feel like reviewing at all..

My highschool days.... & HIM

I studied in School of St. Anthony, its quite a big school located at Lagro, Quezon city. I liked the school the very first time I got a chance to visit it, probably because of the swimming pool(later, I would know that there would be a lot of obstacles for me to overcome in that pool).I started my 1st year with one of my bestfriends in elementary. We are really close even if we studied at different schools when we were in grade 6. I didn't have to handle the pressure of finding a new friend during my 1st day in highschool. But after a few months, she suddenly became mad at me for not letting her borrow my Bayron's file, its a short summary of the english grammar. Actually, I lend it to her but I asked for it back too soon that she thought that I was being selfish.. We got a new set of friends..and build a different set of personalities...I never really liked the way she turned out...sorry..
During my first year, I still got the chance to receive some honors..I was probably diligent at that time..
Also, during my 1st year, I MET THE CRUSH/LOVE of my life.. I still remember the first day I saw him. We were practicing at the quadrangle, and a friend of mine pinpointed him to me..No, it wasn't love at first time. He left a rather funny impression to me.. I thought he look like someone from a MORIONES play.. then only to find out that they would be presenting a moriones play for the foundation day..I swear I didn't knew that by the time I 1st saw him..Its weird, right?
And so, I developed a crush, infatuation for this guy. Me and my friend would call him "mr. NIce Guy" bec. he really did look nice. What I really liked about him was he is SO QUIET despite his popularity. He WAS even termed SILENCE OF THE LAMBs in their yearbook. I was young and I permitted myself to be crazy.. I swear, i really did look crazy at times that I saw him..
But he doesn't know me...I really have a bad case of unrequited love.
Up to last JAN. 1, 2005.. I decided to give up.. I admit to myself that we would NEVER be a couple.. never.. after all the text messages I sent him during special occassions, the cards and letters, I have finally realized that I must move on.. There is no point hanging around.. I have this weird theory that I cling on to my feelings for him only because I took the comfort that we would never be together.. that he was just a distant dream. I felt comfort because in reality, I am afraid to love and be loved..With him, I am assured that there is no chance for me to get really HURT..though I know that whenever he would not reply to my txt messages, there is a feeling of pain in my heart...
I really can't say that he is totally forgotten, I guess i never will.. but I guess my feelings for him is gone..it faded through time..my heart got tired of hoping and dreaming..I MIGHT BE MOVING ON..

Oh I forgot....

Oh i forgot to mention about my first serious crush when I was in grade 5. Quite young, right? Well, I began to like a guy who belong to a higher batch or level than mine..he was in grade 6 that time..he was a classmate of my sister, and since my sister was close to her male classmates, i also had the chance to know him.. Well, i don't know if its true, but we sort of develop a M.U...but I guess it was only for a short term for him...When classes resume after the xmas vacation, I just found out that he got himself a girlfriend... I do not remember crying for him..no, I was too young for that,..but you see, he sort of broke my heart..though i know that it was unintentional.. I don't have the right to be angry...
I saw him twice when I was already in highschool, he still recognized me despite the fact that my hair was almost double its length,(i sport a very short hair when I was in elementary).He smiled at me, but it was my nature to frown at him...
I can definitely say that I am way over him right now.. I swear if i'll ever saw him again, it wouldn't be too hard to smile...

A lurid glare under the stars: the beginning (Part II)

Now, I regret having said that my childhood is a boring one... What I really mean is that it's just a typical childhood minus the neighborhood kabarkada(friends)..I usually play with my younger cousins at my lola's house.. As a kid, ages 1 to 3, I was really chubby..that's why I had this funny petname at in our house that even now they usually call me by it. It's tsoy..short for tabatsoy.. I swear I feel so comfortable with that petname until these last few months..that I feel that it no longer fits me..
When I started schooling, I have to repeat nursery twice.. bec. my during my first try,i was just a saling pusa in the class,plus the fact that I did nothing but play..and obviously I learned nothing...
But during my elementary years, I began achieving academically... I was always on the top of my batch.. and I was also an active student that time..I was on the student council, school newspaper, and other organizations...My bestfriend during my entire elementary days was Lalaine, and up to now, we still keep our communication thru text messages, letters, etc..I haven't seen her for almost 5 years, but I still consider her as one of my bestfriends.

A lurid glare under the Stars: The Beginning

U might wonder where I got this title for my blog. Well, I got it from the novel Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. Though, I didn't enjoy the novel at all, this particular line captured my attention.. a lurid glare under the star..though what it might really mean in the novel doesn't have any connection on why i like it..
Well, I wonder where i should begin introducing my life to all of you. I guess I should begin at my birth, since I believe that life really starts at age 0, u can't just throw away several parts of your life by saying that life begins at age 20 or so on so forth...
I was born in a small family, we only comprise of 4, but since we are so close to our relatives, i have never felt that my family is small. Im the youngest daughter of my parents...who at first thought that they would be having a baby boy...kind of funny right?
We are just a typical Filipino family, living in accordance of our means and values. But nevertheless, I can say that somehow we are happy, though there are times that we don't admit it in ourselves.Since I was a kid, my parents ventured ito different small businesses, and I'm quite used to them right now. I believe that somehow, my family livelihood helped me to realize certain realities of living.
My childhood is quite boring, I guess.. I never really had the chance to play taguan and agawan base with our neighbors.. I don't know why, it just turned out that way..
To be continued....

Good day

hello and welcome to my new blog... hope you'll find time to glance on my life..